The Vending Machine Jesus

I was watching TV last weekend and came across the “Christianity King of Prosperity” right at the very moment when he told the congregation that the reason Christians are suffering in this economic downturn is because we didn’t have faith enough to give. If we don’t give, especially in bad economic times, then we don’t receive. I felt a little sick hearing that statement.

We are in a hard core recession. Countless faithful Christians are unemployed and going to bed worrying if there will be food on the table for the family. Countless Christians are anxious about their finances. You can see it on their faces and you can hear it in their voices. The problem that must be explained by proponents of the prosperity gospel is that the faithful still get laid off, lose homes, and struggle to make ends meet.

Basically, Pastor Prosperity wants you to sort of look at God as “The Vending Machine Jesus” - put in your faith and out pops blessings, money, homes, cars, beautiful spouses, perfect kids, good neighbors, big churches, and plush vacations. For the prosperity gospel, humans are “The Happiness People” – they receive the blessings, rely on the promises, act on the commandments, and they can put on a big happy face. Every day, from the moment you get up to the time you go to bed, Pastor Prosperity and others of his ilk want you to believe that life is like Disney’s Magic Kingdom - steep admission included.

This individual’s gospel proclaims that the bible teaches us and promises us material, spiritual, and physical prosperity. To become prosperous, all you have to do is believe and receive. The prosperity gospel isn’t even a half truth, its blasphemy.

So let’s get real here. The Bible and the Church have never taught the prosperity gospel. Abraham waited and waited for the son of promise. Joseph experienced being sold into slavery by his God-elected brothers. Moses led Israel into years of testing. Israel only crossed the Jordan River after 40 years in the wilderness (and Moses never crossed the Jordan). David, a man after God’s own heart, suffered years of waiting, family struggles, and a son who fell away from faithfulness. Jeremiah spent most of his days in tears. Daniel was a devoted Israelite who had anything but a cushy life. And don’t even get me started on Job. His faithfulness seemed to have gotten him into the crosshairs of the Satan himself. Have you ever read Foxe’s, Book of Martyrs?

Who we are as Christians is not the Bible version of the Brady Bunch. Our humanity is tied to the Cross. Jesus told his followers to take up the cross every day and that meant to be ready to suffer as well. (Luke 9:23). Jesus was crucified for us and we are called to die with Him – to be the person who has died with Christ, died to self, died to everything the world counted as worthy, and died to the flesh. We are called not to seek our own happiness, money, power, personal glory, but to seek the glory of God by giving ourselves to God for His glory.

The problem with the prosperity gospel is that it focuses on getting earthly wants, and then blaming it on a lack of personal faith when we don’t get what we want - when the vending machine savior does not pay out. As Pastor Prosperity spoke to the people sitting in his massive stadium church, I about fell out of my chair as he quoted John 11:22, “But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you." And all you had to do to unlock that promise was buy this guy’s latest book!

The cross gospel focuses on the giving of our selves. Love of God means to live for God. Don’t get me wrong - yes, God is indeed with us. We are commanded to give all we are to Him. The bottom line is that some days are good and we thank God for his blessings. Some days are difficult and we are summoned by God to trust, (look at Paul) to be faithful, not to lose heart, and to hang on in the hope that God will do what he promised when He returns.

Be Faithful,

Bishop Ian

Jesus Just Wants to Give You a Hug

I have Sirius XM radio in my car. I like to listen to all kinds of music so I surf a lot. I was surfing the channels recently and I came upon the Christian Contemporary channel so I listened a bit. After several tunes I came to the conclusion that most of what I was hearing was basically grown men, whining like love sick teenagers with lyrics like, "Nothing else can take your place, or feel the warmth of your embrace." The band was called “Big Daddy Weave,” but I have to ask the question here; who are they singing to? The One who holds the universe together by the power of His word, or some long lost girlfriend? The women were no better, they sang with such throaty breathiness, I wondered if they were singing to brad Pitt or The Savior of the Universe. What kind of theology is there in “Jesus just wants to give you a hug” lyrics?

Yes, I am a bit prejudiced when it comes to the theology of the lyrics most of these Christian rock bands use to describe the king of all creation. So for fun I have looked a few up. Yup, you can actually look up the lyrics online.

Take a look at the verses from these six contemporary songs. Can you pick which phrases belong to secular songs and which to the supposedly Christian ones?

1. All I need to do is just be me, being in love with you.
2. My world stops spinning round without you.
3. I never want to leave; I want to stay in your warm embrace.
4. I'm lost in love.
5. Now and forever, together and all that I feel, here's my love for you.
6. You say you love me just as I am.

The first three are from that same band I was listening to earlier, “Big Daddy Weave,” the second half are from Air Supply. Why Air Supply? Well, they were on the smooth 80’s channel when I tuned in looking for comparisons.

Song after song on the Christian music channel kept hammering on one note: Jesus loves you soooooo much. He is your buddy; He is your pal. Now, do I doubt for a second that Jesus loves His children? Nope, but it depends on what your definition of "love" is.

God "agape" loves His children. Agape love is not based on the warm and fuzzy kind of love. I looked up the translation of agape and discovered that William Tyndale was the first translator to use the word "love" for agape. My commentary also said that prior to the 16th century; the word charity best described agape. Seemed a good topic for debate, but putting that aside, a modern day use of the word love ranges from a love for an object to physical love/sex (eros love). I love that new car. I love that girl. I love that God. That God loves me.

Not only do the lyrics use love in romantic ways to sing about God, there were other romantic phrases in the songs I heard and latter researched like: hold me, embrace me, feel you, need you. In music that’s called “amatory phrasing.”

My research on hymnody revealed John Wesley considered an "amatory phrase" to be language that was more feelings based love than self-sacrificing agape love. John Wesley deleted "Jesus, Lover of My Soul" from one of his brother, Charles' collections because it was too romantic sounding.

Not only are today’s Christian music writers guilty of writing amatory phrases, but they are singing with amatory phrasing. Christian men and women sing with such romantic longing and neediness as to be completely embarrassing.

In my opinion there are two consequences to this "Jesus is my boyfriend/girlfriend" music. Needy, emotional women continue to need more counseling, self help books and conferences where they can spread their wings and soar. Men will continue to not show up for church because they simply can't stand the mood manipulating worship tunes designed to help them, "feel the Lord's big bear hug embrace."

Without theology in music, we are offering fluff that will not comfort when life takes a turn. Songwriters could provide true hope if they would write about the sovereignty of God rather than crying about "how safe I feel when Jesus is hugging me."

Is there anything wrong with being reminded that our God is our help from ages past? Of course not, the Psalms are loaded with promises of God's comfort. But unlike the Psalms (and theology based hymns), contemporary music is void of the reason why we should not worry. We shouldn’t not worry because someone croons that Jesus’ warm embrace keeps us safe so we shouldn't fret, but because God is our shelter in the stormy blast and our eternal home. Our comfort comes from knowledge, not in a lyric about a teddy bear Jesus.

Be Listening,

Bishop Ian